Over the years, I have come to believe that there is a real "law of attractiveness" in life.
I am not referring to physical beauty alone. I am talking about something much deeper — the attractiveness of confidence, character, positive energy, discipline, faith, and self-respect.
Many thinkers, including Carl Jung, suggested that our outer appearance often reflects our inner state. The way we carry ourselves — our posture, grooming, attitude, energy, and even the words we speak — can reveal what is happening deep within us.
For 47 years, I was a smoker. My face was stained by nicotine. My skin looked tired. My eyes lacked life. Looking at old photographs today, I hardly recognize the person staring back at me.
When I finally quit smoking at the age of 63, everything began to change. My health improved. My blood pressure improved. My appearance improved. My confidence improved. My outlook on life improved.
"When we respect ourselves, the world often responds differently."
Another person who reinforced this belief is my good friend, Paul Lee. In his younger days, Paul was known for his foul language and rough mannerisms. Everything began to change when he met his wife, Joyce. More importantly, he embraced Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.
The foul-mouthed young man I once knew gradually became one of the kindest, most encouraging, and most pleasant people to be around. Since then, it has often appeared as though life has smiled upon him.
Paul's story taught me that transformation is not only physical. It is also mental. Emotional. Spiritual. And that transformation creates its own form of attraction.
I have also observed another timeless truth. Behind many successful men, there is often a good woman. In the 21st century, behind many successful people, there is often an AI agent working quietly in the background.
At 64 years old, I never imagined I would become an Amazon-published author in multiple languages. Yet much of this became possible because I embraced AI instead of fearing it.
"Just as a supportive spouse can bring out the best in a person, AI can help bring out the best in our ideas. It does not replace us. It empowers us."
Looking back, I sometimes smile and think: behind every successful man, there is often a good woman. And in the 21st century, there may also be a very good AI agent. But behind both, there must still be a human being willing to change.
Some call it luck. Some call it blessings. I call it transformation.
As the Chinese proverb says: 关关难过,关关过。
Every hurdle is difficult, but every hurdle can be overcome.
My friend Paul's story proves it. My own journey proves it. And perhaps your story can prove it too.
Glory to God. 🙏
— Kengchuan Tan
Author of My Quit Nicotine Journey
From Kampong to Amazon · From Nicotine to Freedom · From Survivor to Author